It’s time to vote for your favorite song submitted for…

Bankruptcy Bill’s Bankruptcy Song Contest!
(Click here for rules and prizes.)

THE BANKRUPTCY SONG ENTRIES (click here to see lyrics):

1.  “AMEND IT MY WAY” by Judge Sheri Bluebond (United States Bankruptcy Court for the Central District of California)

2.  CABARET” by Judge Sheri Bluebond (United States Bankruptcy Court for the Central District of California) (Click song title or scroll down the page to see lyrics.)

3.  “DON’T CRY FOR ME HOUSEHOLD FINANCE” by Judge Sheri Bluebond (United States Bankruptcy Court for the Central District of California) 

4.  “DEBTS IN WRONG PLACES” by Judge Alan S. Trust (United States Bankruptcy Judge, Eastern District of New York)

5.  “‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE FILING” by Mark Sippel, Esq. (Sippel & Carroll PLLC (Kingman, AZ))

6.  “PHARAOH OBAMA – LET THE DEBTORS GO” by Mark Sippel, Esq. (Sippel & Carroll PLLC (Kingman, AZ))

7.  “THE BANKRUPTCY ABUSE SONG” by Mark Sippel, Esq. (Sippel & Carroll PLLC (Kingman, AZ))

8.  “DEBT-FREE GIRL” by Craig Robins, Esq. (Woodbury, NY)

9.  “BANKRUPTCY WIFE’S LAMENT” by Arlene Robins (Woodbury, NY)

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VOTING PROCESS

HOW DO I VOTE? E-mail bill [@] bankruptcybill [.] us with your choice for favorite song.  Feel free to include your second and third choices as well for which points will be awarded. (Update:  The email address has been corrected to “.us” instead of “.com”.  If you sent your vote to “.com,” then it was not received.  We’re very sorry for any inconvenience.)

JUDGING CRITERIA: You’re voting based on the lyrics, not the tune.  But you know what you like, so go with your gut.

VOTING DEADLINE: December 31, 2009 by 12:00 p.m.

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THANKS! Bankruptcy Bill would like to thank the below-listed parties for their support of the first-ever (to our knowledge) Bankruptcy Song Contest and for collectively making a donation to the National Consumer Law Center in the amount of $25 for each song submitted:

• Bruce Weiner (Rosenberg Musso & Weiner) – NYBankruptcyNet (Brooklyn, NY)
• George Haines & David Krieger (Haines & Krieger) (Las Vegas, NV)
• Russell A. Demott – Charleston Bankruptcy Blog (Charleston, SC)
• Nancy Rapoport (nancyrapoport.blogspot.com), the Gordon Silver Professor of Law at the William S. Boyd School of Law (UNLV)

And now without further ado, here are the songs submitted….

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Submitted by:  Sheri Bluebond, United States Bankruptcy Judge, Eastern District of New York

Sheri is a bankruptcy judge for the United States Bankruptcy Court for the Central District of California, sitting in Los Angeles. She was appointed in February of 2001.

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Bankruptcy Song Entry #1 (by Sheri Bluebond)

“AMEND IT MY WAY”
(To the tune of the Frank Sinatra standard “My Way“)

And now, the need is clear
It’s time to seek a bold solution
And so, Obama dear, don’t get bogged down in the minutia
Here’s what you need to do
To see us through this mortgage meltdown
Repeal one little line
Amend it my way

The banks have their plans too
But they have barely scratched the surface
And, true, what I propose has clearly made the lenders nervous
But this is what we do
It’s easy stuff.  It’s a no-brainer.
Repeal one little line
Amend it my way.

Yes there were folks, I’m sure it’s true
Who bit off more than they could chew
But how ’bout those who did no wrong?
They need some help to get along
There’s one good way to save the day –
Amend it my way.

Subprime.  C’mon it’s time
To give a bailout to the people
Right now, as values slide
Existing plans all sound so feeble
Amend chapter 13 to let us modify their mortgage
Let’s keep them off the street.  Amend it my way.

For what is a man.
What has he got
If not a home, then he has naught
And while supply exceeds demand
Have you devised a better plan?
Make Congress meet.  Turn up the heat.  [Alt:  Get on with it.  Just take the hit.]
Amend it my way.

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Bankruptcy Song Entry #2 (by Sheri Bluebond)

“CABARET”
(To the tune of “Cabaret“)

What good is sitting alone in your gloom?
Discharge your debts today
Fund our retainer right away
Come get your automatic stay
Put down your assets, your debts and your gloom
It’s time for a holiday
Fund our retainer right away
Come get your automatic stay

Come hear them whine, Come hear them moan
If you need dough, Joe, grab that phone and
Tell them that we’ll prime their loan

No use permitting some prophet of doom
To take bank accounts away
Fund our retainer right away
Come get your automatic stay

My client had a lender out in Dallas
From whom he borrowed funds to build a palace
At maturity, his mood became quite sour
As a matter of fact, he threatened us for hours
The day we filed, I couldn’t help but snicker
His efforts didn’t get him money quicker
After thousands in attorneys’ fees to pay
It took him years to obtain relief from stay
I still recall his anguish to this day
So at every chance I get I like to say

What good is sitting alone in your gloom
Discharge your debts today
Fund our retainer right away
Come get your automatic stay
Put down your assets, your debts and your gloom
Time for a holiday
Fund our retainer right away
Come get your automatic stay

And as for me, and as for me
I made my mind up based on these things
Bankruptcy’s the sport of kings
Start by admitting six figures or so
Isn’t that much to pay
Fund our retainer right away
Fund our retainer here today
Come get your automatic stay

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Bankruptcy Song Entry #3 (by Sheri Bluebond)

“DON’T CRY FOR ME HOUSEHOLD FINANCE”
(To the tune of “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” from the musical “Evita”)

It will be easy
Don’t think it strange
Let me try to explain the result
Why I’ll still get relief after all that I’ve done
The judge will believe me
All she will see is a girl who meant well
Although she’s dressed up to the nine’s
And forced into 7 by you

I had to let it happen
I had to charge
Couldn’t live all my live down at Sears
Staring into the window staying out of the store
So I tried credit, running around buying everything new
What possessed me, I cannot recall
Then one day, the bills became due

Don’t come for me Household Finance
The truth is I meant to pay you
All through my wild days, my mad existence
I meant to pay you, so keep your distance.

And as for lawsuits and as for liens
Don’t think they’ll permit you to win
‘Though that may be, I’ll concede, the result you deserve
They are illusions. They are not the solutions they promise to be
The message should be clear by now
“I can screw you, but you can’t screw me.”

Don’t come for me Household Finance
For I am ordinary, unimportant and undeserving of such attention
Unless we all are. Perhaps we all are.
Don’t come for me Household Finance.
The truth is, I meant to pay you.
All through my wild days, my mad existence,
I meant to pay you. So keep your distance.

Have I said too much? There is nothing more that I can think of to say to you.
But all you need to do is look at me to know that every word is true.

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Submitted by: Alan S. Trust, United States Bankruptcy Judge, Eastern District of New York

I have been a United States Bankruptcy Judge for the Eastern District of New York since April 2, 2008. I am a native of upstate New York, a graduate of Syracuse University (1981) and NYU School of Law (1984). I was a practitioner in Dallas, Texas for 24 years prior to returning to New York to accept my appointment to the bench.

DISCLAIMER:   This song is written entirely as a satire. It does not reflect the views or opinions of this Judge, any members of this Judge’s court staff, of any Judge known to this Judge, nor of any other governmental or quasi-governmental official or employee.

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Bankruptcy Song Entry #4 (by Alan S. Trust)

“DEBTS IN WRONG PLACES”
(To the tune of “Friends in Low Places,” with apologies to Garth Brooks)

Blame it all on the rules,
for figuring who’s,
makin’ more than median income.

It’s based on locale,
and not on morale,
But some are just worth more than some.

The guidelines are tight,
but not worth a fight.
It’s zip code and numbers you see.

If you thought it wrong,
then just hear out this song.
Don’t argue population density.

Cause I’ve got debts in wrong places,
where the teachers make less than the waitress.
But not according you see,
to the IRC.

So I’m supposed to make Plan payments,
Not considering what my truck note’s takin’.
Cause I’ve got debts,
in wrong places.

It’s part IRS,
part Elliott Ness.
That tells you what you get to spend.

A house half the size,
what my family of five,
grew up runnin’ around.

Your land is immense,
if you’ve got a fence,
With room for a double wide.

And don’t even think,
that you get to drink,
unless it’s an off brand or lite.

Cause I’ve got debts in wrong places,
where the guidelines don’t reflect the prices,
that I really pay,
to live out each day.

Yeah, the plan I filed says I am thrivin’,
but my wife says we are barely survivin’.
Cause I’ve got debts,
in wrong places.

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Submitted by:  Mark Sippel, Esq. – Sippel & Carroll PLLC (Kingman, AZ)

With over thirty (30) years of experience in courts throughout Arizona, Mark has a solid foundation in numerous areas within the practice of law.  Currently, for Mohave County, he focuses on finding creative solutions in the financial arena for both business and personal issues that impact all areas of our lives.  As a member of the Board of Directors of Northern Arizona Regional Behavioral Health Authority (NARBHA), Mark chairs the Finance Committee, which oversees funding of mental health care providers in Northern Arizona with a yearly budget over 120 Million dollars. Mark also serves on the Ethics Committee at Desert Highlands Care Center.

Bankruptcy Song Entry #5 (by Mark Sippel, Esq.)

“TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE FILING”

Twas the night before filing and at the office of the clerk
The computers were silent and the phone sat inert
And Jennie who stayed late, with head on her desk
Sighed “So many petitions and so little rest!”

Filings were stacking up high in the queue
Waiting for scanning their magic to do
The “stay of all stays” would go out to all
Frustrating bankers and credit card calls

But out in the yard there rose such a clatter
Jennie sprang from her desk to see what was the matter
Away to the front door she rose with a flash
Forgetting to save the memory cache

To her surprise, and in great horror
She could not believe who just walked in the door
Bernanke, Obama and Pelosi too
With bags on their shoulders just like You Know Who!

Their limo was seated with banks you abhor
BofA and Wachovia and yes there were more
Citibank Chase, Wells Fargo and Compass
And others each holding a claim up their rumpus

Without a word, they went right to work
Shredding petitions and stuffing their shirts
As if it was money or euros or worse ?
And into the limo like it was a hearse

Then Jennie remembered that there was a hero
Not Bond or Clark Kent, or Captain Zero
A Mighty Man, honest and full of valor
Could he possibly hear her loud holler?

Oh BAPCPA Man help me I fear a debacle
And to her surprise, she heard a loud cackle
“Never fear I am here, I know what they’re after
Their plans I will thwart” and then with great laughter

He waived his right hand, and the shred was undone
His left hand waved bye and the limo was gone
He laid his finger aside of his nose
and the bags all now empty to his back they arose

The Bankers are stymied their schemes are turned back
And BAPCPA Man shouted as he flew off with his pack
My job is completed, I’ve done my part!
Merry Christmas to all and to all a Fresh Start!

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Bankruptcy Song Entry #6 (by Mark Sippel, Esq.)

PHARAOH OBAMA – LET THE DEBTORS GO
(To the tune of “Louie Louie“)

Well the President called me just the other day
He said that the stimulus was on its way
The bankers they all clap and will say thanks a lot
Just adding more monies to the cash that they got

The banks are making money while the man on the street
Can’t house his family or put shoes on his feet
His family goes hungry and they don’t understand
How bankers getting fat from Congresses hand

Mark to the market is the way it should go
When home values fall below the debt that they owe
The banks made their choices and they took their risk
It wasn’t us investing in derivatives

If you paid out the monies to the man on the street
He’d buy clothes for the family buy them somethin to eat
He’d pay on his mortgage, charge cards and his car
The economy would jump start and we’d be better by far

I say
The credit card companies are mostly to blame
They handed out free credit and they fanned the flame
The consumer boomer spent it made economy grow
Now people can’t pay on the debt that they owe

Now listen up Mr. President the people are pissed
Its time for you and congress to get this all fixed
Before we all rise up, and with a clenched fist
Sing four part harmony in song to insist

Its time we rose up, and with a clenched fist, say
Pharaoh Obama whoa whoa let the debtors go

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Bankruptcy Song Entry #7 (by Mark Sippel, Esq.)

THE BANKRUPTCY ABUSE SONG
(2005, 2009 (c) Mark A. Sippel Attorney at law)

1. The Credit Industry worried
If B K reform was not hurried
Their profits would tumble
And pension plans fumble
And they all just might have to eat curry

2. The United States Congress
With all of its fondness
For money from credit card lobbies
Passed a bankruptcy bill
That’s made us quite ill
And left us all feeling quite wobbly

3. Big Banking cronies
And the lobbying Phonies
All lied about about Debtor abuses
They promised to fix the economies mix
And would not take any excuses

CHORUS
Oh, the Bankruptcy Bill is upon us
Now Debtors have got to be honest
But if you must squeeze
Those down on their knees
May [ the good lord] have mercy upon us!

4.  For those who are bowed
From their credit card load
The burden is real and not phony
Congress cooked up a plan
13 or be damned
That ‘s got Debtor’s by the cojones

5. And Now since the code was amended
The system is all but upended
And if you helped fulfill
This Bankruptcy Bill
I’m glad if you are offended

CHORUS:
Oh, BAPCPA is heavy upon us
Now Lawyers have got to be honest
But if you cannot trust those who are bust
May Allah have mercy upon us

6. What goes around surely comes back
The ’06 workload became slack
Trustees are beserk
And they’re starving for work
They want us to bring them more business

CHORUS
Oh, BAPCPA is heavy upon us
Now everyone has to be honest
But when you have to get
Those in medical debt
May Doctors have mercy upon us!

(How about a shameless plug)

7.  If you find yourself in frustration
And SUFFER FROM DEBT strangulation
Credit card gouges
Lead to foreclosing houses
Please schedule your own consultation

8. You may think this song is too clever
But the facts are still true more than ever
If you’re in a pickle
Call Carroll and Sippel
And your debts may be banished for ever

CHORUS
Oh, the Bankruptcy Bill is upon us
Now everyone has to be honest
But if you cannot trust Those who are bust
May Starbucks have mercy upon us!

Well I sent this song off to be published
But the company said it was rubbish
But if I would encumber
My credit card number
They’d hook me just like a sucker

Before I lost out to the Boob Tube
I uploaded this song on to YouTube
And while there’s no monies
There’s no lack of honeys
Who might be called credit card groupies

(If you’ve had your fill of BAPCPA, join in the chorus and sing out!)

CHORUS:
Oh, the Bankruptcy Bill is upon us
Now Lawyers have got to be honest
When you try to squeeze
Those who are brought to their knees

May [ the good lord]
Allah
Buddha Shiva, those doctors who know they are god,
WalMart
Starbucks
Obama
Have mercy upon us.

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Submitted by: Craig D. Robins, Esq. – Long Island Bankruptcy Blog (Woodbury, NY)

Craig D. Robins, Esq. is a Long Island bankruptcy lawyer, who is focused primarily on helping individuals and families throughout Nassau County, Suffolk County and Queens find solutions to their debt problems.  You can learn more about him and follow his blog at http://longislandbankruptcyblog.com.

Bankruptcy Song Entry #8 (by Craig Robins, Esq.)

“DEBT-FREE GIRL”
(To the tune of Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl“)

Oh wo oh oh oh oh oh oh. . . . .
Debt-free girl
She’s now living in a whole new world
No more bills or late-night collection calls
It is because – she finally got the balls

To become – a real debt-free girl
No more living in a creditor world
As long as anyone with bad debts can
Make an appointment with the bankruptcy man
That’s what I am

And when she learns that
She won’t have to pay
And then she can wake up
Stress free – there’s a stay

She’ll see it’s not so tough
Just because
I’ve made her into a debt-free girl
Filed her petition; no more creditor world
She got tired of the collection calls
Perhaps she overspent at stores and malls
She’s got a choice

Oh wo oh oh oh oh oh oh. . . . .
Debt-free girl
She filed a seven; now it’s her turn
She kept her assets – they were all exempt
Trustee overlooked the money she spent
It’s what she dreamt

She passed the means test
It’s really no big deal
Her lawyer knew best
Assisted with credit counseling

It’s really not so tough
To discharge
Lots of bills
Of a debt-filled girl
She’s been living in a bill-collecting world
As long as anyone with big debt can
And now she’s looking for a bankruptcy man
That’s what I am
[Oh wo oh oh oh oh oh oh. . . . .]

Debt-free girl
She’s my debt-free girl
You know I love to see
A real debt-free girl

My debt-free girl
Did you know I love to see
A real debt-free girl

My debt-free girl
Did you know I love to see
A real debt-free girl

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Submitted by:  Arlene Gross Robins

Arlene Gross Robins is the wonderful wife of Long Island bankruptcy lawyer Craig D. Robins, Esq.

Bankruptcy Song Entry #9 (by Arlene Gross Robins)

“A BANKRUPTCY WIFE’S LAMENT”
(To the tune of “Sunrise, Sunset” from “Fiddler on the Roof”)

Once I had a hubby who’d come home nights
We’d have our dinner; share a song
Life was so happy – filled with de-lights
What went wrong?

[REFRAIN]
Chapter seven
Chapter thirteen
Filing is his life
Rescuing clients from their huge debts
At the expense of his son and wife

When the BAPCPA laws were changed in ‘05
I thought we’d have a nice reprieve
Debtors would no longer discharge their debts
Or so, I did believe

Chapter seven
Chapter thirteen
Filing is his life
Rescuing clients from their huge debts
At the expense of his son and wife

But now there were hurdles one must jump through
Credit counseling and a means test: de rigeur
Lawyers learned laws like they were brand new
And, thus, charged more

Chapter seven
Chapter thirteen
Filing is his life
Rescuing clients from their huge debts
At the expense of his son and wife

For a few years our son got to know his poppa
Then the economy went bad
Now dad works 24/7, non-stopp-a
And we’re so sad

Chapter seven
Chapter thirteen
Filing is his life
Rescuing clients from their huge debts
At the expense of his son and wife

As the recession slowly recedes
We’re hoping our attorney will come home
If not there’s divorce settlement proceeds
Either way, I’m raising our son alone

Chapter seven
Chapter thirteen
Filing is his life
Rescuing clients from their huge debt
At the expense of his son and wife

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE SONG: Email bill [at] bankruptcybill [dot] us

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SUBMIT YOUR OWN SONG!

Have your own bankruptcy song?  Want to add it to the liturgy?  Feel free to post your song in the Comments section or e-mail it to bill [/at/] bankruptcybill [/dot/] us.  It won’t count for the contest, but it will be fun to gather more bankruptcy songs here.

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NOTE ON COPYRIGHT & INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY:

IP Irene Says: “All copyright and intellectual property rights associated with the lyrics in this post reside with the respective authors.  If you want to use them for commercial purposes, please get in touch with the authors first to get permission.  And if you do ever use these lyrics elsewhere, please be sure to give the authors appropriate credit.”

Tags: Bankruptcy humor, Bankruptcy law, Bankruptcy music, Bankruptcy Song Contest, BAPCPA, Chapter 7, Consumer Bankruptcy, Gideon Kendall

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